Sometimes...You Wear Stretchy Pants in Your Room...is for fun..

Sometimes, I Google myself, it's for fun... Today, when I Googled me, I found two other me's.

One "Greg Walters" is from Missouri and has been a member on the Raytown city council for 24 years. His recent post is "News and Views" and includes an article regarding a "New Formula for Sewer Rates". (Don't laugh, he has hundreds of responses to his posts.)

Yes, yes, I know - this post has already gone "out of scope" - hang with me...

Disparately trying to find some thread, some morsel of commonality between this Greg and that Greg, I searched his blog for "printers", "copiers", "green", "HP", "Canon" - the results? Zilch, nada, zero - not a thing, a crumb or inkling towards MPS.

When all hope was lost and I was about to dial up Obama for some change - I found it! The common thread! - Humor!!

This off of his Blog:

"The following are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word , taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. "


LOL!

Buh, Bye... DANKA. KONICA MINOLTA Completes Aquisition

"As expected, Konica Minolta reported that moving forward, Danka will sell only Konica Minolta products but will continue to sell third-party solutions as they have in the past. Effective July 1, Danka will no longer be an authorized Canon dealer..." - Cary Sherburne And from the Tampa Bay Business Journal -"Effective immediately, Konica Minolta Danka Imaging will market Konica Minolta's lines of office systems, production print systems, network printers and application solutions, a release said..."

The Fourth Of July and the American Way - Wal*Mart

July 4, 2008 -

Celebrate the 4th - go buy something, go sell something, anything...just like Wal*Mart...

I was disparately seeking a timely and interesting subject for a Fourth of July post - and two of the sites I visit most, provided me with WAL*MART.

Cory Smith's "I love Walmart but I hate them too." post resonated with me as well as Ken Stewart's Global-nomics At Work In Your Backyard. Excellent work, gentlemen!

But I think this all started over here. A great site mixing Technology with Politics(YIKES!) I love the mix, I love the argument - Tsudohnimh is the author, go check it out.

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You may ask, "What in the world does Wal*Mart have to do with Managed Print Services, Edgeline, or printing?"

Good question. On this blog, we talk specifically about printing - but in a "galactic" sense, I am really talking about the application of technology in the business world and the impact/results of that application.

So how did Wal*Mart get so big? The answer, my friend, is through the application of technology - something we Americans do quite well and should be more proud of.(U!S!A!)

History Lesson - Back to the Future

Do you remember Mr. Kresge? No?

Ok, to be fair, I know of the Kresge name because I grew up in his "back yard" and the library at my University had his name on it. But Sam owes Sebastian everything - and Sam knows it.

"Sebastian Spering Kresge opened a modest five-and-dime store in downtown Detroit...and changed the entire landscape of retailing. The store that Kresge built has evolved into an empire of more than 1,500 stores and an Internet presence that reaches millions of customers...

"When Kresge opened his first store in 1899, he sold everything for 5 and 10 cents. The low prices appealed to shoppers and allowed him to expand to 85 stores in 1912, with annual sales of more than $10 million..." - 

sound familiar?