The Dubious Monk On Professional Printer Destruction

Author Nathan Dube, also known by his twitter handle @dubiousmonk

As time has gone on I have "worn multiple hats" in my tenure at Expert Laser Services. Graphic Artist, Managed Print Services Specialist and Social Media Marketing Engineer are all responsibilities I have held or currently hold.

As of recent I have also taken on a new role, one with as much prestige as any. In fact I am one of only a few professional "Printer Destruction Specialist" in the world. This is a humbling and rewarding career, one of which I know there are many aspirants...

In this post I would like to outline what makes a great printer destruction possible. Below you will find a most useful guide for the annihilation of print and copy devices that if practiced regularly, will ensure a most sublime level of expertise in the noble art and science of printer destruction.

Quigley - Another Analog Guy in a Digital World

A couple of weekends ago, I was fortunate enough to squeeze off a few rounds from a Sharps 1874 - you may remember the 1990 movie, "Quigley Down Under" with Tom Selleck.

The weapon had a prominent role.

At its peak, the Sharps was considered one of the best, long-range firearms in the world.

From the Uberti site, makers of Sharps replicas:

"...In 1874, after 700 Comanche warriors attacked 30 buffalo hunters in the Texas panhandle, the hunters used their Sharps rifles to exact a punishing toll. By the early 1880s, the long-range models had become the favorites of professional buffalo hunters because of their long-range capability..."

Indeed, even today, the long-gun is a fully functional, work of art:  double triggers, lever action, 34" barrel, 15 pounds she delivers a good kick, our black powder loads were clustering in 8 inches, 300 yards - we aren't that good.

The Sharps is cool - but the movie/sales metaphor?

Rugged individualism in the face of despotic ownership and management; Analog Guy, in a digital world full of other analog guys who think they're digital.

Huh?

"Dear Steve, I've never owned a Mac, or an iPhone and I don't have an iPad..."

I don't even know you, but you seem to know a great deal about me.

So Steve, thank you for my Droid X.

Thanks for forcing Microsoft to integrate a mouse, even if it was on DOS 4.0.

Thank you for getting IBM to utilize 'preemptive multi-threading in OS/2 even though it was a doomed OS.

Thanks for pushing the 3.5" floppy.  Thanks for letting all the peripherals that attach to the Lisa automatically connect.

Thanks for AppleTalk.

Thank you for seeing I really only wanted three or four songs from an album.

Thank you for disrupting the music industry - giving us Lady Gaga and incredible, mind-blowing live shows. (figure it out)

Thanks for recognizing a dwindling need and not allowing the iPad to print.

You beat the PS/2 and helped IBM find a new way.  

You destroyed the music industry and helped them find a new way, giving us immediate access to the music and artists we, the people, wanted to hear, at 99 cents a pop.

Sony, because of you, experienced the stink of defeat, the folly of internal business silo and they found a new way.